I WAS BORN INTO A COMPLETELY BROKEN FAMILY.
A VIOLENT FATHER CONSUMED BY JEALOUSY.
AND A MOTHER WHO CARED ABOUT NOTHING BUT
MY FATHER WAS A COMPLETE BASTARD.
EVERY SINGLE DAY, HE ACCUSED MY MOTHER OF CHEATING AND BEAT HER.
WHENEVER MY MOTHER LOOKED AT ME, SHE’D WEAR A FACE THAT SEEMED CAUGHT BETWEEN A SMILE AND TEARS.
THE OLDER YOU GET, THE MORE YOU LOOK EXACTLY LIKE YOUR FATHER.
SHE SAID THAT WHENEVER I LOST MY TEMPER, IT MADE ME SICK TO MYSTOMACH.
THOSE WORDS STAYED WITH ME LIKE A CURSE.
WHEN I WAS AROUND SEVEN YEARS OLD, MY FATHER LEFT HOME.
AFTER THAT, THE MEN I WAS TOLD TO CALL "DAD" KEPT CHANGING.
MY MOTHER WAS VERY GOOD AT GETTING BY.
THEN, ONCE SHE GOT TIRED OF PLAYING HOUSE, SHE LEFT ME AND MY SISTER BEHIND.
SHE REALLY LIVED HOWEVER SHE PLEASED.
I DON'T RESENT HER. SHE ALWAYS SENT MONEY.
THAT'S WHY I HAD TO GROW UP FAR TOO QUICKLY.
THEN THERE WAS MY SISTER. LIKE MOTHER, LIKE DAUGHTER.
SIS, AREN'T YOU GOING TO SCHOOL?
I WAS EXHAUSTED. NO... I WAS SICK OF IT ALL. I JUST WANTED TO GROW UP ALREADY.
I'M BUSY. SHUT THE DOOR AND GET LOST.
GO OUTSIDE AND PLAY OR SOMETHING.
I JUST WANTED TO BE ALONE.
IT'S MY HOUSE TOO. WHY SHOULD I LEAVE?
EVEN AS A KID, I SPENT SO MUCH TIME WONDERING WHAT LOVE REALLY WAS.
THE MORE I THOUGHT ABOUT IT, THE STRANGER DATING AND MARRIAGE SEEMED.
SO THAT'S WHAT A FAMILY IS.
A SANDCASTLE THAT CRUMBLES WITH THE SLIGHTEST TOUCH.
HEY.
WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS BY YOURSELF?
MY CHILDHOOD WAS PAINFULLY LONELY.
HAVE YOU EATEN YET?
COME EAT AT MY HOUSE.
DAHYE BECAME MY ONLY ESCAPE.
SHE GREW UP SURROUNDED BY LOVE IN A STABLE FAMILY.
BRIGHT AS SUNSHINE. UNTWISTED, UNSCARRED... JUST FREE.
I WISHED I COULD BE PART OF DAHYE'S FAMILY TOO.
THEIR WARM DINNERS WERE DELICIOUS,
BEOMSEOK,
COME VISIT US WHENEVER YOU'RE LONELY.
A KIND FATHER,
A CHEERFUL MOTHER, AND EVEN A DEPENDABLE OLDER SISTER.
DAHYE'S MOM ALWAYS COOKS WAY TOO MUCH,
SO THERE'S ALWAYS PLENTY TO EAT.
THANK YOU.
THERE WERE TIMES I ENVIED DAHYE.
SO THIS IS WHAT FAMILY IS.
THE PEOPLE WHO PUT FOOD ON YOUR PLATE.
WHENEVER I CAUGHT MYSELF THINKING THAT, I'D SCOLD MYSELF.
BEOMSEOK.
AHH...
OPEN WIDE.
GOOD, RIGHT? IT'S MY FAVORITE.
EATING THIS ALWAYS CHEERS ME UP.
I LOVED BEING WITH DAHYE.
YEAH. THANKS.
WHETHER SHE WAS SHARING HER FAVORITE SNACKS WITH ME,
OR THE DAYS I SHOWED UP AT HER HOUSE IN TEARS,
WHAT'S WRONG?
DAHYE...
SHE'D ALWAYS HUG ME WITHOUT SAYING A WORD.
WHAT HAPPENED? DID SOMEONE HURT YOU?
FROM THAT DAY ON, I COULDN'T STAND ANYONE TOUCHING ME UNLESS IT WAS DAHYE.
I THOUGHT IT'D ONLY BE TEMPORARY. I WAS WRONG.
I EVEN THOUGHT, I'D SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE ALONE.
HEY, LEE BEOMSEOK!
WHAT'S WITH THAT SCHOOL UNIFORM?
HOW MUCH TALLER ARE YOU PLANNING TO GET? WHY'D YOU BUY ONE SO BAGGY?
I ALWAYS THOUGHT.
IF I EVER LOVED ANYONE IN THIS WORLD,
I WAS SURE IT COULD ONLY BE DAHYE.
DON'T GET TALLER THAN ME.
THIS SIZE FITS YOU PERFECTLY.
NO.
I'M DEFINITELY GOING TO GROW TALLER THAN YOU.
WAS IT BECAUSE SHE WAS A GIRL THAT THESE FEELINGS KEPT ME AWAKE NIGHT AFTER NIGHT?
DAHYE.
CAN...
I ASK YOU SOMETHING?
WHAT IS IT?
WHAT ARE WE? WHAT KIND OF RELATIONSHIP DO WE HAVE?
WHERE'D THAT COME FROM?
WE'RE FAMILY.
THE MOST PRECIOUS KIND.
YOUR WORDS WERE ABSOLUTE TO ME.
IF YOU WANTED US TO BE FAMILY,
I SEE.
THEN I WANTED TO STAY BY YOUR SIDE AS THE MOST PERFECT FAMILY MEMBER I COULD BE.
THAT'S WHY I DECIDED TO BURY THOSE POINTLESS FEELINGS AS EARLY AS I COULD.
EVERY TIME MY FEELINGS BECAME TOO MUCH,
I PRACTICED LETTING THEM GO.
DAHYE, DON'T RUN.
AH! WHAT DO WE DO?
THE BUS?
IT JUST LEFT.
SO WHAT?
LET'S JUST BE LATE TOGETHER.
WHENEVER THOSE FEELINGS STARTED SURFACING AGAIN,
I BIT THE INSIDE OF MY MOUTH OVER AND OVER, UNTIL I'D LOST COUNT OF HOW MANY NIGHTS HAD PASSED.
DON'T TOUCH ME LIKE THAT.
HUH?
WHY ALL OF A SUDDEN?
DAHYE STARTED AVOIDING ME.
PEOPLE ARE LOOKING AT US WEIRD.
IT FELT LIKE THE GROUND DISAPPEARED BENEATH MY FEET.
HAD SHE FIGURED OUT THESE FEELINGS I'D TRIED SO HARD TO HIDE?
HEY! WAIT UP!
YOU'RE THE ONE WHO MADE US LATE. WHY'RE YOU TAKING IT OUT ON ME?
I DON'T KNOW. JUST DON'T TALK TO ME.
MAYBE STAYING CLOSE TO DAHYE MEANT SPENDING MY WHOLE LIFE HOLDING MYSELF BACK.
EVERY TIME OUR FINGERTIPS BRUSHED, I DESPERATELY TRIED TO BURY THESE FEELINGS.
BECAUSE I WAS TERRIFIED THAT IF SHE EVER FOUND OUT, I'D BECOME LESS THAN A STRANGER TO HER.
THAT WAS THE THING I FEARED MOST IN THE WORLD.
This chapter tells the past from Beom-Seok's perspective. He grows up in a broken home with a violent father and a neglectful mother, and is abandoned at an early age. In his loneliness, his only refuge becomes Da-Hye and her warm family. He tries to suppress his love for her by treating it as a family bond, but distance and fear come between them.
