Hate Girl — Chapter 25

IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT.

OKAY.

I'M SORRY. PLEASE DON'T CRY.

HIS FACE IS SO CLOSE TO MINE.

I'M SAD BECAUSE YOU DON'T SEE ME AS A WOMAN.

MY HEART, WITHERED FROM ENDURING HIS ANGER, BEGAN TO SWELL AND POUND WILDLY ONCE MORE.

LIKE A CHILD WHO FIGHTS BACK TEARS WHEN NO ONE PAYS ATTENTION,

ONLY TO BURST INTO TEARS THE MOMENT SOMEONE FINALLY COMFORTS THEM.

IF I KNEW YOU'D SOOTHE ME LIKE THIS, I SHOULD'VE JUST CRIED IN FRONT OF YOU SOONER.

SERIOUSLY, I RAISE MY VOICE ONCE, AND YOU CRY LIKE YOUR WORLD IS FALLING APART.

SORRY. YOU CAUGHT ME OFF GUARD.

DONE CRYING? YOUR FACE IS ALL SWOLLEN.

DO I LOOK BAD?

YEAH.

YOU'RE SUCH A JERK.

WANT TO GO FOR A WALK?

LETTING IT ALL OUT MADE ME FEEL MUCH BETTER.

...SURE.

THAT'S RIGHT. MY LOVE, ALONG WITH ALL THE EMOTIONS THAT CAME WITH HAVING MY HEART BROKEN, WAS ENTIRELY ONE-SIDED.

I WAS SO CAUGHT UP IN MY OWN FEELINGS THAT I NEVER CONSIDERED HOW BUMSEOK MIGHT HAVE FELT.

SAYING I LIKE HIM...

I'M SO SELFISH.

AN UNFAMILIAR STREET.

WANT SOME ICE CREAM?

YEAH.

THE FAMILIAR YOU.

THIS IS YOUR FAVORITE FLAVOR, RIGHT?

YEAH.

HERE.

THANKS.

THE SHARP ACHE IN MY HEART MELTED INTO SOFT, FLUFFY CLOUDS.

BECAUSE OF YOU, IT FEELS LIKE I'M RIDING A STEEP ROLLER COASTER SEVERAL TIMES EVERY DAY.

THE WEATHER'S REALLY NICE.

REMEMBER WHEN WE WERE KIDS?

REMEMBER WHEN YOU TRIPPED WHILE RUNNING TOWARD ME WITH FIREWORKS JUST TO MESS WITH ME?

EVEN NOW, ITS SO RIDICULOUS THAT I CAN'T HELP LAUGHING WHEN I THINK ABOUT IT.

OH, RIGHT.

AND WHEN YOU STUCK FIREWORKS TO YOUR BUTT AND RAN AROUND SCREAMING THAT YOU WERE A ROCKET!

HAHA, YEAH.

SERIOUSLY, WHAT MADE YOU THINK OF DOING THAT?

YOU WERE SO FUNNY BACK THEN.

I WAS NEVER BORED WHEN I WAS WITH YOU.

I'M REALLY GLAD I HAVE YOU IN MY LIFE.

SEEING YOU SMILE LIKE THIS AFTER SO LONG FEELS WONDERFUL.

IN THIS MOMENT, THERE'S NOTHING BUT ME AND A SMILING BUMSEOK.

AS I LOOKED AT YOU, ALL THE WORRIES I'D TRIED SO DESPERATELY TO HIDE AND AGONIZED OVER SEEMED MEANINGLESS.

THE VAGUE, NAMELESS EMOTIONS ARE SIFTED AWAY, LEAVING NOTHING BUT SOMETHING PURE.

I LIKE YOU. I LOVE YOU. IT HAS TO BE YOU.

I SAW YOU KISSING MY SISTER.

JEALOUSY CONSUMED ME, AND I SPENT NIGHT AFTER NIGHT CRYING.

MORE THAN THOSE UNREQUITED FEELINGS,

EVEN IF YOU DON'T FEEL THE SAME WAY RIGHT NOW, I NEED TO TELL YOU HOW I FEEL.

WHEN WE WERE KIDS, YOU NEVER CRIED THIS HARD, NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENED.

YOU SUDDENLY STARTED CRYING, AND EVEN I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

I'M SORRY. I WON'T GET ANGRY WITH YOU AGAIN.

WHILE I BASKED IN THE SWEET ILLUSION THAT I WAS SOMEONE SPECIAL TO BUMSEOK,

NO, IT'S OKAY.

I BECAME GREEDY AND STARTED HOPING THAT MAYBE I HAD A CHANCE AFTER ALL.

I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER NOW THAT WE'VE MADE UP.

ALL THE WHILE, I CORNERED YOU AND MADE YOU FEEL RESPONSIBLE.

I'M ASHAMED OF THESE CHILDISH FEELINGS THAT EXPECT SOMETHING IN RETURN.

AND YET, HUMAN DESIRE IS LIKE DRIPPING WATER, SLOWLY CARVING OUT A GAPING HOLE...

THIS MISERABLE FIVE-YEAR UNREQUITED LOVE HAD BEEN ONE-SIDED FROM THE VERY BEGINNING, AND BUMSEOK NEVER EVEN KNEW ABOUT IT.

EVEN SO, IT'S NOT AS THOUGH I GOT NOTHING OUT OF IT.

HAVING A HEART THIS FULL IS ENOUGH.

SO...

IT'S OKAY IF YOU DON'T LOVE ME BACK.

I LIKE YOU.

WHAT?

I...

I LIKE YOU.

THAT'S WHY I'VE BEEN AVOIDING YOU.

BECAUSE YOU DON'T SEE ME AS A WOMAN.

WHOEVER GETS TO BE LOVED BY YOU MUST BE SO HAPPY.

YOU'RE ALREADY SO INCREDIBLY KIND TO SOMEONE YOU DON'T EVEN LOVE, SOMEONE LIKE ME...

SO... I WAS JUST BEING PETTY.

SO IF SOMEONE YOU TRULY LOVE EVER COMES INTO YOUR LIFE, YOU'LL SURELY TREAT THEM WITH EVEN GREATER TENDERNESS.

IF THAT DAY EVER COMES,

I'LL PROBABLY FALL APART COMPLETELY, CRUMBLING AT YOUR FEET INTO SOMETHING EVEN MORE WORTHLESS THAN SCRAPS OF TRASH, BEFORE FINALLY DRIFTING AWAY FROM YOU.

I'M SORRY.

AT LAST, I CONFESSED THE PRECIOUS FEELINGS I'D HELD ONTO FOR YEARS.

GH...

AND YOU REJECTED ME WITHOUT HESITATION.

UGH...

UGH...

IT FELT AS THOUGH THE HEAVY WEIGHT I'D BEEN CARRYING HAD FINALLY LIFTED.

I JUST WANTED YOU TO KNOW THAT I'VE LIKED YOU ALL THIS TIME.

WHATEVER HAPPENED AFTER THIS, TODAY WAS THE DAY I HAD TO DO IT.

HOLDING ON TO SOMEONE ISN'T THE SAME AS LONGING FOR THEM.

EVEN THOUGH I CAN'T STOP THE TEARS FROM FALLING RIGHT NOW,

I KNOW THE TIME I SPENT WITH YOU WILL BECOME THE STRENGTH THAT CARRIES ME THROUGH THE REST OF MY LIFE.

AS I GO ON LIVING MY SAME OLD LIFE ALONE, THOSE MEMORIES WILL BE LIKE A SHIMMERING PEBBLE I CAN TAKE OUT AND LOOK AT WHENEVER THINGS GET HARD.

FOR NOW, THAT'S ENOUGH.