...PRINCESS.
YOU HAVE NO NEED TO HIDE IN FEAR; I AM NO BEAST.
YOU ARE NOT A HUNTED RABBIT,
NOR ARE YOU SO SMALL.
WH-WHAT IS WITH THIS MAN?! SAYING SOMETHING LIKE THAT IN A SITUATION LIKE THIS...!
I-I KNOW THAT!
I MEAN... THAT I'M NOT THAT SMALL!
...THE WIND BLOWS FIERCELY IN ROCHE NOIR, EVEN IN SPRING.
HOWEVER STIFLED YOU MAY FEEL, WANDERING OUTSIDE IN YOUR CURRENT CONDITION SEEMS DANGEROUS.
DID CORIN NOT TRY TO STOP YOU?
I-I SLIPPED OUT ON MY OWN! I JUST WANTED SOME FRESH AIR...
I WAS GOING TO HEAD RIGHT BACK INSIDE!
PRINCESS, REGARDING WHAT MY SECRETARY SAID EARLIER...
U-UM...!
PLEASE DON'T PAY ANY MIND TO IT, BECAUSE-
I DIDN'T WANT THIS MARRIAGE EITHER!
LAST NIGHT... I WAS TOO OVERWHELMED TO THINK STRAIGHT, BUT...
S-SOMEHOW, I'M GOING TO SORT THIS OUT!
I HAVE A PLAN OF MY OWN, SO... PLEASE DON'T WORRY.
I SHALL TAKE MY LEAVE FIRST, SO PLEASE RETURN INSIDE.
DO YOU KNOW THE WAY?
O-OF COURSE! I'M VERY GOOD AT FINDING MY WAY!
HIS WAY OF SPEAKING IS BLUNT LIKE A SOLDIER'S,
BUT HE SEEMS TO BE A KIND PERSON.
WHICH IS ALL THE MORE REASON I CAN'T BURDEN SOMEONE LIKE HIM.
PERHAPS WORD OF THAT INCIDENT HAS ALREADY REACHED ALL THE WAY HERE...
THE DAY MY SISTER SUDDENLY SAID THOSE WORDS TO ME,
I WAS THROWN INTO UTTER TURMOIL.
...THAT I WAS JEALOUS OF HER...
AND RESENTED HER...?
IT'S TRUE THAT I ENVIED HER...
SHROUDED IN THE MOST SACRED OF PLACES, RADIANT AS IF SHE HELD ALL THE LIGHT IN THE WORLD,
WHILE EVERY PERSON OF THE HOLY REALM GAZED UPON HER IN AWE AND YEARNING—
LOOKING AT THAT SIGHT OVERWHELMED MY HEART, YET FILLED ME WITH ENVY.
THAT'S WHY, MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE, I RESENTED MYSELF...
TO THINK I LOST THE PRECIOUS CHANCE TO DANCE BESIDE HER,
ALL BECAUSE I FOOLISHLY INJURED MY ANKLE...
"COMPARING HERSELF TO ME, DOWN TO THE VERY LAST STRAND OF HAIR."
MY DIARY IS GONE!
"SISTER IREMIA'S HAIR IS DAZZLING, AS THOUGH BATHED IN SUNLIGHT,"
"YET MY OWN HAIR IS DULL AND PLAIN, AS IF CAST IN SHADOW."
"HER EYES GLEAM CLEAR AND VIVID LIKE SUMMER LEAVES,"
"WHILE MINE SEEM CLOUDED BY DARK, HAZY FOG."
WHY ARE YOU READING SOMEONE ELSE'S DIARY WITHOUT PERMISSION?!
GIVE IT BACK!
"IF SISTER'S DANCING RESEMBLES A BUTTERFLY TAKING FLIGHT INTO FREE AIR-"
"THEN I AM MERELY A FALLEN LEAF STUCK IN MURKY MUD..."
I TOLD YOU TO GIVE IT BACK RIGHT NOW!
"IT IS ONLY NATURAL THAT DUKE CASSIUS FELL IN LOVE WITH SISTER INSTEAD."
"HE WOULDN'T EVEN SPARE A GLANCE FOR SOMEONE LIKE ME."
...PLEASE....
PLEASE GIVE IT B-
"I WISH SISTER'S HAIR WOULD ALL BURN AWAY."
WHAT...?
"I WISH SHE WOULD GO BLIND,"
"AND HER ANKLES WOULD SHATTER."
I NEVER WROTE ANYTHING LIKE THAT!
"THEN PERHAPS DUKE CASSIUS WOULD LOOK AT ME INSTEAD OF HER...."
NO!
I NEVER WROTE WORDS LIKE THAT!
YOU SAID IT YOURSELF,
YOU ADMITTED THIS WAS YOUR DIARY.
INDEED, YOU SPITEFUL LITTLE WENCH.
PRETENDING TO BE SO INNOCENT ON THE OUTSIDE, WHILE ROTTING WITH MALICE ON THE INSIDE. A DECEITFUL LITTLE SNAKE.
THAT IS WHO YOU TRULY ARE.
BOTH OF YOU, STOP IT.
LEAVE RIEN ALONE.
BUT SISTER! LOOK AT HOW WICKED SHE IS!
THIS VILE LITTLE BRAT FILLED HER DIARY WITH CURSES WISHING HARM UPON YOU!
...EVERYONE HIDES A BIT OF UGLINESS IN A CORNER OF THEIR HEART.
WHY SHOULD RIEN BE ANY DIFFERENT?
...NO.
SISTER, I SWEAR I NEVER WROTE THOSE THINGS.... IT WASN'T ME....
...I TOLD YOU, RIEN.
I UNDERSTAND COMPLETELY.
ANYONE CAN FEEL JEALOUSY.
WHAT MATTERS IS THAT ONE DOESN'T ACT ON SUCH UGLY THOUGHTS.
AFTER ALL, YOU COULD NEVER DO MORE THAN SCRIBBLE THEM IN A DIARY, MY SWEET LITTLE SISTER RIEN.
I'M NOT ANGRY WITH YOU.
IT FELT AS THOUGH I WERE BEING CRUSHED TO PIECES.
AS IF MY VERY EXISTENCE WERE BEING DISTORTED,
LOSING ITS SHAPE,
AND CRUMBLING INTO NOTHINGNESS.
I'M TERRIFIED...
WHAT IF I LOSE WHO I AM FOREVER LIKE THIS?
I WOULD RATHER HIDE AWAY.
IN A PLACE WHERE NO ONE CAN EVER SEE ME...
To your Imperial Majesty Abaddonium Graufolt, the Unceasing Heart of the Empire:
HOW SHOULD I BEGIN...
WHEN IT COMES TO WRITING IT, MY MIND GOES BLANK...
WHEN YOU SAID YOU WOULD SORT THINGS OUT SOMEHOW,
DID YOU MEAN YOU TO WRITE A LETTER TO HIS IMPERIAL MAJESTY?
PRINCESS,
REGARDING THE RUMOR MY SECRETARY SPOKE OF EARLIER...
I ALREADY TOLD YOU, I DIDN'T WANT THIS EITHER!
THAT IS WHY I AM PETITIONING HIS MAJESTY.
ASKING HIM TO ANNUL THIS MARRIAGE AND SEND ME TO A MONASTERY INSTEAD.
THE SHOES AND CLOTHES THAT WERE PREPARED IN ADVANCE—
NONE OF THEM FIT ME; THEY WERE ALL FAR TOO LARGE.
BECAUSE THEY WERE MADE FOR MY SISTER....
YOU WOULD BE FAR SAFER IN THE DUCAL CASTLE THAN IN A MONASTERY.
EVEN IN TERMS OF COMFORT, THOUGH THE DUCAL CASTLE MAY PALE IN COMPARISON TO LUCIDORIA'S ROYAL PALACE...
IT'S NOT BECAUSE OF THINGS LIKE THAT...!
...I DON'T WANT TO LEAN ON ANOTHER'S GOODWILL ONLY TO BECOME A BURDEN.
THE KINDER SOMEONE IS, THE MORE THEY WILL QUIETLY SWALLOW THE DISCOMFORT I CAUSE THEM.
BESIDES, I DON'T WANT TO MARRY SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T LOVE ME EITHER...
SO... THIS MARRIAGE SERVES NEITHER OF US ANY BENEFIT...
PLEASE, WOULDN'T BE BETTER FOR YOU THIS WAY, TOO? YOU WANTED SISTER IREMIA!
I AM WELL AWARE PRINCESS IREMIA BRINGS POLITICAL ADVANTAGES TO THE DUCHY.
BUT SETTING THAT JUSTIFICATION ASIDE, PLEASE GIVE ME ONE REASON WHY I SHOULD DESIRE HER.
WHY, BECAUSE-!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS MAN? WHY ASK THE OBVIOUS?
DOES HE WANT ME TO SAY IT WITH MY OWN LIPS?
SHE IS BEAUTIFUL, DIGNIFIED, ELEGANT...
...AND EXCEEDINGLY WISE....
IF SO,
DOES THAT MEAN YOU ARE HIDEOUS, UNDIGNIFIED, AND FOOLISH?
WOULDN'T YOU SAY I'M EVEN WORSE THAN HIDEOUS, UNDIGNIFIED, AND FOOLISH?
AFTER ALL, I'M A LIAR AND A VENOMOUS, DELUSIONAL LUNATIC.
YOU SEEM REMARKABLY CANDID TO ME RIGHT NOW, PRINCESS.
ARE YOU PLAYING WORD GAMES WITH ME RIGHT NOW?
I MEAN, ANY MAN WOULD NATURALLY FALL FOR SISTER...!
...IF THAT IS THE CRITERIA,
THEN AS A MAN, PRINCESS RIEN, YOU ARE FAR MORE MY TYPE.
THE INK HAS SMUDGED.
IT WILL STAIN YOUR HAND.
I IMAGINE MY WORDS SOUND LIKE A JOKE, AND YOU FIND THEM HARD TO BELIEVE.
AFTER ALL, YOU DO NOT KNOW ME WELL, PRINCESS.
WHEN SEEKING TO UNDERSTAND A PERSON,
I RELY ON MY OWN JUDGMENT THROUGH WHAT I OBSERVE AND EXPERIENCE FIRSTHAND, RATHER THAN IDLE RUMORS CARRIED BY THE WIND.
YET EVEN THAT JUDGMENT CAN NEVER FULLY DEFINE YOU.
DO NOT LOSE YOURSELF TO THE CARELESS DEFINITIONS OF OTHERS.
I WILL BE GRANTED AN AUDIENCE WITH HIS IMPERIAL MAJESTY IN THE NEAR FUTURE.
I HOPE THAT ON THAT DAY, THE QUESTIONS WEIGHING ON YOUR MIND WILL FIND THEIR ANSWERS.
HER FACE SHOWED UTTER BEWILDERMENT AND SHOCK.
...SHE MUST HAVE EXPECTED MY BROTHER.
NOT ME.
Clockwork Lovers Chapter Draft 3 opens with Princess Rien wanting to go to a monastery to escape the unwanted marriage at Roche Noir. Her stern yet compassionate conversation with the Duke connects to her past trauma, her jealousy toward her sister Iremia, the fake curses added to her lost diary, and her feeling of worthlessness.
